Category Archives: Kitchen Hazards

A Cook’s Guide to Writing – The Oven is Hotter in the Back


Oven - VectorI spent a wad of cash on a nice oven a few years ago because I got tired of having to open the door halfway through my baking and spin the pan around to ensure even cooking. My new appliance boasted convection settings and came with a fan to circulate the heat evenly

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. After several years of baking in it, my oven is still hotter in the back.

It remains one of the mysteries of the universe, but I’m currently at one with my universe and have accepted that I will always have to turn the pan around.

Most writer’s plot their novels with the greatest amount of heat in the back. It’s the universe we live in! But how appealing would a meal be if you forgot to turn the pan around and the first course or two were served undercooked? No one will pick at raw meat or gooey bread dough for long even if the odors coming from the kitchen smell promising. Make sure you spin that pan a few times or that the convection fan is circulating the heat as best as it can throughout the plot. That way your story not only pulls the reader in but moves it along with tasty morsels of intrigue, mystery, suspense or hints of romance and conflict interspersed with larger bites of robust characters, dastardly villains and tantalizing locales.

Your guests will praise you for a well cooked meal and you’ll spare them from having to make up some lame excuse the next time you invite them to your table.

 

Dedication to Family and Craft


wounded female cook in white uniform and hat - cooking accidentI bought a new kitchen gadget, yeah I know, what a shock. In my defense it does what four of my old, on-their-last-leg appliances do, so in the big picture I’ll be saving kitchen cupboard space once I toss or sell the others at a garage sale. Anticipation nearly bowled me over because it arrived just in time for my hosting Easter dinner.

Word of advice – Don’t get up after only three hours of sleep to use a brand new kitchen gadget with sharp blades, in this case many, many sharp blades. I sliced a gouge into my finger almost as deep as the Grand Canyon. I’ve been there, many times, I’m not exaggerating, not really

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. After wrapping it with the most absorbent paper towel I owned, I secured it with the longest bandage I could find. After cleaning up the alarmingly large drips of red all over my house (the search for the before mentioned items took me everywhere), I resumed with the meal prep. Once done, I worked on my website (I have a deadline this week) and then returned to the meal prep.

I figure once my company leaves, I might find an urgent care open and look into stitches since the darn thing won’t stop bleeding. Good thing I have a fresh roll of the most absorbent paper towel I could buy. But I am running out of long bandages.